Seven Years Ago, A Perfect Fall Day, Ruined

I was a junior in college. I was getting ready for a 9:30 class and my mom called me in a panic. After I reassured her that I was nowhere near, I found my friends, because nothing is worse than being scared all by yourself. The cell phones weren't working. We went to the penthouse floor of one of the dorms and watched all the smoke and held each other's hands and tried not to freak out about the people we knew who would be in that area that morning. We watched the towers fall. Despite the nice autumn weather we slept with windows closed for fear of asbestos in the air.

In the aftermath, we saw the best and worst of people. Concerned people hugged each other in the subway and looked out for each other. Narrow minded people hurled insults at anyone resembling anyone from the Middle East, regardless of which country they actually hailed from. Fear turned to anger, and from then on we've always been at war, with other nations, with each other.

There are certain things that divide the New Yorkers who lived here before that day and those who came after. They are small things. For me, the biggest thing is getting out of the subway and knowing exactly which way was south by looking up. It's also the shared story. The feeling that lingered in the city that you can't describe to anyone who wasn't here.

As everyone chugs along their wedding plans, please take a moment this fall and look at the big picture. Remember that the freedoms you have today were not always there, and people were imprisoned and shunned and persecuted to fight for them. Remember that to be a good citizen one must be aware and informed, because when we are lazy and rely on others to tell us what is right and wrong, bad things happen. Remember that not 80 years ago, women couldn't vote. Not 40 years ago, many states banned interracial marriage. Laws can and will change and awareness is what's going to make them change for the better.

Remember that in the grand scheme of things, your wedding is not really that important, and what's important are the people who love and care for you, and that you can live your life the way you choose.