Wedding Hits and Misses: The Dress

HIT:

I bought the dress very soon after getting engaged and I was happy about it. If I was going to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress I was never going to wear again, at least the proceeds should go to a good cause, and since they were going to New York City public schools, it's like I'm giving back to the community. I never actually posted a photo of the dress I bought for fear of Dude seeing, so here are the originals.





The top lace piece comes off, which was great for a costume change mid-reception.

MISS:

Because the dress had to be taken in from a 14 to about a 4 or 6, and because there were two pieces, one of which was a really intricate lace applique thing, the alterations cost as much as the dress. Luckily, Pinpoint Bridal in Manhattan did a great job. Not the best in communication, but the final result was amazing.

Here it is in action:

Wedding Hits and Misses: The Reception

HIT:

The venue, Branch, a club in midtown Manhattan. This place was the first decision we made last year, and I have no regrets about them. They were fair in negotiating the price, their staff was friendly and attentive, the food was good, and it was a funky and fun place.



I did not want to ask people to come to New York just to have a hotel wedding. The fact that Branch is a nightclub really got some raised eyebrows over the last year, but I think that it made people rowdier. It was just the right vibe for the evening. And the events coordinator and the site manager were fantastic. I didn't need a day of coordinator with vendors like these! They really took great care of us and our guests.

MISS:

Nothing! Really. The only thing I can think of is that it was a bit cramped (115 people), but that was only for about 30 minutes during the seated dinner. After that everyone was mingling and dancing so there was plenty of room.

Also it was 10 blocks and 2 avenues away from the chapel, so it was a cold walk. Or short cab ride.

Wedding Hits and Misses: The Ceremony

HITS:
(There are several.)

First, we asked one of our very best friends to officiate for us, and he was fantastic. We got to work with him on every part of the ceremony, including very nitpicky things that were really important to me. For instance, I do not like the phrase "You may now kiss the bride." I perceive it to be sexist, because I am kissing the groom just as much as he is kissing me. I also wanted no mention of God or Jesus - to us, marriage is a legal contract. We also wanted NOTHING about a woman being subordinate to man. I don't care if that violates rules of traditional etiquette or chivalry, it's sexist.

Second, the chapel. We got married at the Tillman Chapel at the Church Center for the United Nations, across the street from all the flags. It was the perfect size, we had about 110 guests and it fit everybody, but I don't think we could have fit 10 more people. It was very intimate, and very affordable. It is also an interfaith chapel, so the altar looks like this



Third, the guitarist. I hired Scott Samuels off of Gigmasters, and he was so great. Very accommodating, and the single acoustic guitar was perfect for such an intimate space.


MISS:

The staff at the chapel was less than reassuring. Now, I'm not the kind of person who needs a lot of coddling, but I never felt like everything with the chapel was squared away until the rehearsal. The staff is just slightly disorganized and are slow to respond to emails. There also wasn't an off hours contact person, which was a little unnerving because our wedding was on a Saturday. Dude and I went to visit the chapel during February, and it was locked, so I was worried - what if it was locked on our wedding day? The only answer I got was, "I don't know why it was locked, it should have been open." Not reassuring, right?

Also, since the UN wasn't in session, there were no flags flying. I was pretty sad about that, I wanted them for pictures.

That said, everything worked out, and the chapel was wonderful. The man who worked the front desk, Hector, was so sweet to us. In the end, everything went great.

Wedding Hits and Misses: Feelings and Details

HIT: The "Feel"

Dude and I are easygoing, funloving people who don't take ourselves too seriously or are particularly sentimental. So it was really important to us that there wasn't too much emotion during the day. We completely understand that people have different reactions to weddings, but we wanted it to be fun. All of it.

So we put in a lot of work to make it that way. We made sure the ceremony wasn't too sappy and stressed equality in the union above all else. The songs chosen were nontraditional and somewhat funny at times. We wanted to make sure that the day was filled with laughter, not tears, even if they are tears of joy.


MISS: The Details

Dude and I are not detailed oriented. I mean, we can be, with respect to our jobs and things like that. But when it came to wedding, details are just not something we cared about. So it was really, really stressful to both of us when people would ask us questions during the day. If we hadn't thought about it by then, we didn't care about it, or completely delegated it to someone else. So when my aunt came running up and said "Do you like these shoes or those shoes?" I said "Whatever you want." When the photographer said "Do you think we should go here for pictures?" I said "Whatever you want." Then he looked at me and said, "Do you have an invitation I can take a photo of?" I said, "Uh, no... sorry."

And on and on it went. At one point I really wanted to just scream "How many ways can I say 'Whatever you want' before you realize that that's exactly what I mean? I just. Don't. Care!" (I didn't.)



We are only a few days removed from the festivities, and I don't remember a lot of the details. However I remember the feeling that everyone was having a good time. I remember that the tables were empty and people were either mingling with each other or dancing like maniacs. And I remember that Dude and I had a great time, and professed our love for each other in the manner that is completely appropriate for us. And, that's all that really matters to us.

Wedding Hits and Misses!

I'm not going to do recaps, because that's not really my style, and also because I'm still trying to piece together things that happened. But what IS my style is the recurring theme! So here's the newest one... Wedding Hits and Misses!

HIT:
The first dance, "Rainbow Connection," Kermit the Frog version. There were certainly other contenders... God Only Knows by the Beach Boys (protested by Dude because of the inclusion of "God"), My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder, and the original one that I thought we could dance to, Eight Days a Week by the Beatles.

But really, the two of us just look so AWKWARD dancing together, mostly because Dude is so much taller than me, and the fact that he's feeling uncomfortable dancing certainly shows through the body language. So if you can't do it well, do it goofy!


MISS:
No music during the bridal party introductions. I had chosen "Let's Get it Started" by the Black Eyed Peas as the bridal party was introduced, and instead my MC announced them all with no music. I should have told him specifically what I wanted. Oh well.



Note: Misses aren't necessarily bad things, just things that I didn't think of or I wish I did, but I have absolutely no regrets about the day.

Sorry I've Been Missing, But...

Dude and I got married!


I'll fill in the details in the coming weeks, but first thing's first. The best advice I can give:

If you are doing a rice or birdseed toss, a little goes a long way. Each guest got about a tablespoon and a half's worth, and it HURT. And got stuck in my hair. Make sure your hair person or one of the bridesmaids has tweezers.

MIA and Other Thoughts

I've been MIA because my fantastic friends whisked me off to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party weekend. Which turned into a bachelorette party vacation because the snow all over the eastern seaboard stranded us in Vegas for an extra two days. They kept this a secret from me for months. Best. Friends. Ever.

Now onto other thoughts...

Over the trip I was stressing to one of my bridesmaids about all that I had left to do, and how the extra two days in Vegas was really going to mess with my plan because work is crazy. She responded back to me, "You have to put work on hold. This is the rest of your life."

My response to her was, "It's not the rest of my life. The wedding is one day. My career is the rest of my life."

Do I value my career over my marriage? No way in hell.
Do I value my career over my wedding? Fuck yeah.

I truly believe that I will not be happy in life unless I have a fulfilling career. It's what's gotten me through so far, and though I'm happy to change my mind later in my life, I can't imagine myself not working. I'm the first to admit that I have workaholic tendencies. If I'm a happy person it will make me a better wife and mother. So when people ask me what do I think will change when we marry, I say, nothing. When we have kids, definitely. But for now, aside from the lack of marriage certificate, everything is peachy and we like it that way.