It has been six weeks since I started the name change process and I thought I'd give an update.
For the most part, I am done. Work, license, banks, credit cards, insurance are all done. If New York City Marriage Bureau actually displayed some efficiency I would also have sent in my passport application by now, but four weeks after I've mailed in the application, the fees, and the photocopy of my identification, I still have not yet received copies of my marriage certificate, leading me to worry that somewhere out there is my completed application with all of our identifying information on it just for somebody to pick up and steal.
Surprisingly enough, the easiest ones to change have been my credit cards. No copies of the marriage certificate needed, just a phone call and some verification of my identity.
Also, because I don't believe in sugarcoating, I should also let you all know definitively that changing your name affects your career negatively. In the last 6 weeks I can't tell you how many people thought I left my company because they all of a sudden could not find me in the corporate directory.
Let me repeat that. People thought I left my company because I chose to change my name.
I made the decision to change my name - I'm an adult and I made that choice for the good of my family. And I'm sure eventually I'll come around and like it, but honestly, I don't right now, and frankly I can't see a time in the near future when I will. Not using my maiden name is still extremely upsetting and at this point I feel nothing but regret.
I apologize if this seems so completely negative, but I feel that it's really important to talk about it all honestly, that even some of us who do end up changing our names do so not as willingly as some and at great cost to our lives. I think about that morning when I told Dude I would change my name and how happy he was, and how I thought it was all worth it just to see him so happy. And when I feel blue about my decision I think about that day, and I do think that it was worth it, if only for Dude's sake. But I wonder, really, if he would have been so happy had he known back then what this was all really costing me.
But, you know, it's only six weeks in. What's six weeks versus a lifetime right? Here's hoping.
New Year, New Blog!
16 years ago
3 comments:
I'm sorry you are having such a bad experience!
I have to say though, the issue with your company reflects poorly on the way the company handles name changes. It is not an uncommon occurrence at all. At all three companies I've worked for, they were able to provide the capability to search for someone's new OR old name and have either return the information correctly in the company directory, for at least the first few months after the change. That is something I would speak to management or HR about. It really is poor employee service, and creates confusion like you are experiencing. I have worked in HR and most basic HR software can handle it.
@DCKate - it's good to hear that other companies handle the name change better than mine. I was beginning to think this was a systemic problem!
I'm happy to read about someone else who is not happy about changing their name and only doing it for their "Dude". That is how I feel about it too.
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