Some Updates

It is really, really hard to think about planning a wedding in these times. I'm not one to really care too much anyway, but especially now, especially in New York, especially when so many of my friends work in banking. It seems so wasteful to think about all this energy and money going towards a single day of my life. And then I think that because this only happens once, that it should be good, because when all these things are going so very badly then we need to find joy wherever it can be had.

I kind of lazed around all summer because "I still have so much time!" and then I woke up one morning and realized it was September. That not only is it September but it's mid-September, and that it's no longer ludicrous to have Halloween candy in the grocery stores.

The invitations are slowly coming. I am unhappy with the paper cutter I ordered, but I'm not going to get another one. I underestimated the thickness of one of the papers I was going to use, but I can live with it. The color of the enclosures is a little too yellow. All small things.

And we have a tentative itinerary for Japan, which is

Tokyo - fly to...
Okinawa - fly to...
Osaka - train to...
Kyoto - train to...
somewhere else? - train to...
Tokyo - fly home.

Seven Years Ago, A Perfect Fall Day, Ruined

I was a junior in college. I was getting ready for a 9:30 class and my mom called me in a panic. After I reassured her that I was nowhere near, I found my friends, because nothing is worse than being scared all by yourself. The cell phones weren't working. We went to the penthouse floor of one of the dorms and watched all the smoke and held each other's hands and tried not to freak out about the people we knew who would be in that area that morning. We watched the towers fall. Despite the nice autumn weather we slept with windows closed for fear of asbestos in the air.

In the aftermath, we saw the best and worst of people. Concerned people hugged each other in the subway and looked out for each other. Narrow minded people hurled insults at anyone resembling anyone from the Middle East, regardless of which country they actually hailed from. Fear turned to anger, and from then on we've always been at war, with other nations, with each other.

There are certain things that divide the New Yorkers who lived here before that day and those who came after. They are small things. For me, the biggest thing is getting out of the subway and knowing exactly which way was south by looking up. It's also the shared story. The feeling that lingered in the city that you can't describe to anyone who wasn't here.

As everyone chugs along their wedding plans, please take a moment this fall and look at the big picture. Remember that the freedoms you have today were not always there, and people were imprisoned and shunned and persecuted to fight for them. Remember that to be a good citizen one must be aware and informed, because when we are lazy and rely on others to tell us what is right and wrong, bad things happen. Remember that not 80 years ago, women couldn't vote. Not 40 years ago, many states banned interracial marriage. Laws can and will change and awareness is what's going to make them change for the better.

Remember that in the grand scheme of things, your wedding is not really that important, and what's important are the people who love and care for you, and that you can live your life the way you choose.

Disappointment on the Honeymoon Front

After lots of research on the internet and a lengthy chat with the travel agents here at work, we have decided to focus our entire honeymoon on Japan. The tickets to do any combination of Japan and Tahiti cost 4K per person, so we clearly had to choose one or the other. So Japan for honeymoon, and I managed to convince Dude to do Tahiti for first anniversary.

A bit sad. Dangit, all I want is an overwater bungalow!!!

Trial Day, or Going into the Subway with an Updo and Lots of Makeup Will Get You Funny Looks

Today was my hair and makeup trial with a lovely Japanese lady and so I trekked over to the outer boroughs for an afternoon of primping. Now, I don't like getting my hair done and I wear very little makeup (eyeliner and chapstick are more than enough), so I wasn't incredibly excited about this particular task. But the Knot says it's time for a trial and so to a trial I went.

I'm kind of a failure when it comes to these things. Remember the few posts where I showed some hair inspirations? Yeah, I forgot to print them out. I was running late already and had to find one of the few bridal magazines I had left (I threw them all out in a breakdown a few weeks ago) and I ripped out three styles that were okay and then I ran out the door. As my stylist and I start talking I tell her that I have severe allergies and I've had allergic reactions to makeup. As she applies makeup I start asking her questions and telling her things that raise her eyebrows, probably because I really think I should have known some of this as a member of the female population. Questions like, how does one remove fake eyelashes? Are you sure my eyelashes won't come out along with the fake ones? Is that just a little too much foundation? And no, I don't own any eye makeup remover.

And, bless her heart, my stylist answered everything without showing in her face (much) that I should really know better.

So, the makeup was good, the fake eyelashes came off, and here are the three styles we tried on today.



The Curl:



The Jessica Alba:



The Hayden Panettiere:


And 9 hours later, my makeup was still on and my hair was still curly, despite the humidity of today and the general grossness of the subways.


I love my stylist!!!

Itching to DIY

Ordered for Invitations/Programs:
- envelopes (received)
- linen paper
- cardstock
- paper cutter

Designs for invites and thank you cards are done and I can't tell you how much I don't ever want to look at fonts again. Though I know I'll need to again when I start with the programs. Dude and I have been arguing over font color, font size, and wording for what seems like months now.

Other works in progress: veil and hairpiece.

An End to the Honeymoon Indecision

We have finally decided on our honeymoon locations.

A background:
I've traveled a lot. I have an unfair advantage because I lived in the Philippines until I was 9 or 10, but maybe that's why I love it so much. I think that travel is the single most important thing (besides saving for retirement) a young person can do while unmarried and have no dependents, and my biggest regret is not studying abroad during college. I don't think there's anything more educating and encouraging of tolerance and acceptance. As such, after I graduated college and actually started making my own money, I spent it all on travel and not on material stuff. Last year I clocked 4 international trips and man, was that hard on the wallet (but great on the memories!).

Dude has not left the continent. He has traveled extensively around it (I think he's only missing one or two states and he's been to the tip of Central America and we've been all over the Caribbean together). With his newfound love of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, he is now itching to travel.

So when we first started talking honeymoon, we tossed around every idea possible. The biggest idea was Dude's, and that was to go around the world in three or four stops. We thought about SO MANY locations. Greece, Seychelles, Dubai was the original trifecta, then Australia, New Zealand, China, Turkey, Egypt.... the list goes on. Originally we thought that was a great idea. And then we started pricing out flights and hotels, and realized that the most we could take off of work was two and a half weeks. Three or four stops was just too ambitious, and we would spend so much of our time in airports and not seeing where we are.

Compromise time:
Dude picked his top choice and I picked my top choice and we would do both.

So we landed on Japan (Dude's) and Tahiti (mine).

It's actually perfect for us. Tahiti will be the relaxing part of the honeymoon, we will lounge around and stay in a bungalow above the water. And then Japan will be the cultural urban part of the honeymoon. A good friend of mine lives there and we plan on going to Tokyo and Osaka. We'll spend more time in Japan because I have a four or five day tolerance for lounging (sad but true).

Unfortunately since Dude is in school we have to wait a few months after the wedding until we get to go. But at least he won't be stressing about exams and homework while we are away. We'll likely take a couple of days off after the wedding to re-center ourselves and relax, maybe go to a bed and breakfast somewhere.

NO IT IS NOT A FUCKING "MINI-MOON" AND DO NOT EVER USE THAT WORD AROUND ME OR I'LL CLOCK YOU. THERE IS NO SUCH THING. IT IS A MADE UP WORD TO TRY TO FORCE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING TO BE CUTESY-WOOTSY, PONIES AND UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE AND I WILL NOT PROPAGATE IT NOW OR EVER.

I Have a New Favorite Blog

It's hilario.

I Hate Planning My Wedding.