A Change in Direction

I'm not really sure what to do with this blog because I'm sick to death of wedding stuff but I don't necessarily want to give up this space. So I can't really guarantee any direction other than it will no longer be a wedding blog. Well, maybe once in a while it will go back to weddings.

For today, I'm still not done about healthcare reform. So that's what this post will be about.

I was watching President Obama's town hall meeting at Colorado today, and one thing he said really stuck with me:

"I don't want government meddling in your healthcare, but the point is I don't want insurance bureaucrats meddling in your healthcare either."

I think that's something that many people have overlooked in this debate. Today in the United States, doctors are not making healthcare decisions for you. They make medical recommendations that are approved or denied by insurance companies. There are only two big players in healthcare today - insurance and pharmaceutical companies. I am not making that statement out of some study I read or some article that was online. My mother is a nurse and has worked on every aspect of healthcare you can think of, and that statement came out of her mouth. And I see it in my own life. I have my own health issues and when I ask my doctor if something is covered by insurance, he/she has to look at my insurance and their own records before they can answer me. And if it's not covered, which some things are not, I have to actually think about what I want to do.

For example, I got my wisdom teeth taken out six years ago, and my insurance didn't cover anesthesia.

These are the people making medical decisions for us.

So for the people who say that reform will make politicians involved in your healthcare, all I have to say is this... politicians, unlike insurance or pharmaceutical companies, do not stand to make any direct profit from your living or dying or any other medical issue. They may be swayed one way or another, usually by insurance or pharmaceuticals or other corporate interests, but they are elected officials, and if they willingly or unwillingly impose medical sentences, they won't get elected again.

We can look at our politicians and say, if you do such and such we won't elect you again and you will lose your job. When was the last time you could say that to an insurance company, where you could say, if you don't cover this procedure we will just leave you?

The answer is... we can't. Insurance and pharmaceuticals have held us hostage. Is the lack of reform really the solution?

Honest to Goodness Non-Snarky Political Questions

Were the conservatives this batshit crazy when Bill Clinton was President? Or during the Gore vs. Bush election? Or during the Kerry vs. Bush election?

I don't recall this level of batshitness. Granted I was 12 when Bill Clinton was sworn in, but I was 20 by the time Bush came around, so I was well aware of the world around me, and I don't recall this level of... hysteria. Nor do I recall this level of crazy during the 2000 and 2004 elections.

If the conservatives were not this crazy during the Clinton years or during the other elections, what other possible reason could there be for all this craziness other than our current President is black? Why is he being dissected so much more than anybody else before him? He doesn't have particularly original ideas, not much more than his predecessors.

The only thing I might throw out there is that in the Internet age, access to information is so vast, and access to mis-information is even more so.

What's really fascinating is that this hysteria is about the most BORING SUBJECT IN THE WORLD. Healthcare. You don't even have to opt into the public option if you have employer insurance. There are no death panels, that was a stupid lie made up by an executive of a medical equipment company. I find it particularly hysterical that the people screaming against the government taking control over your end of life procedures (which it's not, all the bill does is FUND COUNSELING) are the same people who stopped everything and interfered with Terri Schiavo's next of kin when it was time for her End.

I really, honestly think, that all this nonsense is because Barack Obama is black, and those who say otherwise are really in denial. Defeating healthcare reform, while harmful to the rest of the country and for millions of Americans, would be a huge political blow to Obama, and that's what's important to these protesters.

What is so wrong about giving everyone healthcare? Really. I have yet to hear the protests from the other side, because all they do is scream and yell like 5 year olds. Except all the 5 year olds I know actually know how to listen.

Wedding Hits and Misses: Seating

It's been forever. Sorry. Summer has been crazy.

HIT: Seating Posters

I have a confession to make. I have an irrational hatred of placecards. I hate them and I can't even explain why. So we went with seating posters.



The venue was happy we chose to do this so they didn't have to lay out itty bitty cards, and also made for less cleanup at the end of the night.

MISS: Confusion

Some of Dude's family ended up at the Drinking Table (yes, we segregated our drinking friends so that they could be within the closest proximity to the bar). When our friends tried to tell them that they weren't supposed to be seated there, they swore up and down that they were. Nobody wanted to go back to the poster to prove that they were at the wrong table. Totally would have been avoided if people had their own placecards.

It all worked out in the end though. Turned out there was a table that was mostly empty and so the non-drinkers moved over to the roomy table.

Bah Humbug

I seem to have nothing positive to blog about these days, so you're all treated to yet another rambling on race in America.

You've no doubt heard about Professor Gates being arrested in his own home. You've also no doubt heard that President Obama directly addressed this situation when asked about it and said the officers acted "stupidly" and now the GOP is all up in their panties. Is it just me, or has the right gone completely batshit? Newsflash: you lost. We endured you for 8 years. You want to talk about a possible illegitimate President? How about one who didn't even win the popular vote in 2000? Stop saying this President was born in Kenya, BECAUSE HE WASN'T.

But again, I digress. Back to Gatesgate.

First of all, the President can't have an opinion on how a situation was handled? Especially because this person is a friend of his? Do I need to remind all of you about the Terri Schiavo case as an example of President with an opinion? Oh, right. Terri Schiavo was white.

And, most importantly, did we forget that Professor Gates proved that he was in his own home, and that if he were being belligerent he was in perfect right to do so, and that is by no means any grounds for an arrest? We live in a country where Neonazis are rampant, and they do all their shit behind closed doors so that they are never arrested. Professor Gates could have been insulting everyone and their mother and he was in perfect right to do so in his own home. Can you imagine the implication of this? Let's say you had a rough day and you go home and blow off some steam and say something to the effect of "I'm going to kill all these bastards," knowing you don't mean it once you've calmed down. You wouldn't get arrested for that, and that's not even near what Professor Gates actually said, according to the arresting officer.

What other conclusion can one make other than the officer acted stupidly? Nothing, really.

I'm going to completely rip off MonkeyGirl's comment when she posted the original article:

For those of you who think POC play the 'race card' too often... fuck you.

Adventures in Name Changing: 6 Weeks Later

It has been six weeks since I started the name change process and I thought I'd give an update.

For the most part, I am done. Work, license, banks, credit cards, insurance are all done. If New York City Marriage Bureau actually displayed some efficiency I would also have sent in my passport application by now, but four weeks after I've mailed in the application, the fees, and the photocopy of my identification, I still have not yet received copies of my marriage certificate, leading me to worry that somewhere out there is my completed application with all of our identifying information on it just for somebody to pick up and steal.

Surprisingly enough, the easiest ones to change have been my credit cards. No copies of the marriage certificate needed, just a phone call and some verification of my identity.

Also, because I don't believe in sugarcoating, I should also let you all know definitively that changing your name affects your career negatively. In the last 6 weeks I can't tell you how many people thought I left my company because they all of a sudden could not find me in the corporate directory.

Let me repeat that. People thought I left my company because I chose to change my name.

I made the decision to change my name - I'm an adult and I made that choice for the good of my family. And I'm sure eventually I'll come around and like it, but honestly, I don't right now, and frankly I can't see a time in the near future when I will. Not using my maiden name is still extremely upsetting and at this point I feel nothing but regret.

I apologize if this seems so completely negative, but I feel that it's really important to talk about it all honestly, that even some of us who do end up changing our names do so not as willingly as some and at great cost to our lives. I think about that morning when I told Dude I would change my name and how happy he was, and how I thought it was all worth it just to see him so happy. And when I feel blue about my decision I think about that day, and I do think that it was worth it, if only for Dude's sake. But I wonder, really, if he would have been so happy had he known back then what this was all really costing me.

But, you know, it's only six weeks in. What's six weeks versus a lifetime right? Here's hoping.

Read This Article

Really. Read this and tell me that I'm overreacting when I get angry about racism and discrimination. Read it and tell me that there's no reason for people of color to hate their own skin.

I can't even imagine what I would have done had I been one of the Creative Steps staff members, or if I were a parent who was present at the time. Part of me would have wanted to run screaming immediately for a lawyer, capture the moment on video and post it on Youtube for everyone to see. But therein lies the double-edged sword of discrimination. Even if that pool did let those kids in, why would they want to use it now that they'd been made acutely aware that they weren't wanted there, that their color was somehow contagious?

I can't even express what I feel about this story anymore - appalled, shocked, saddened. I can complain and write and whine for the rest of my life and I still won't be able to adequately express the alienation that results from discrimination.

If I ever hear my children make excuses that "they're only HALF asian" I think I will kill myself.

That Irrelevant Bimbo

It pains me to no end that Sarah Palin is still in the media spotlight. I feel some compunction about writing this at all, because I'm just giving her attention which I don't believe she deserves. I had meant to write a post a few weeks ago when she forced David Letterman to apologize, but I held my tongue and now I can't anymore.

I would like to preface this whole rant by saying that if there is some sort of difficulty regarding her family then of course her resignation is the right call. I do not wish her or her family any harm, no matter what my rant below might imply.

I would also like to say that I do not want to get into politics. I realize that my opinions are mine and people have different opinions, and if you support Sarah Palin's politics then that is your right.

What I do want to talk about, and what I want to chastise Sarah Palin for, is for the example and precedent she sets for other women.

She is a quitter. That is it, plain and simple. I am deeply offended that she even uses the term "lame duck" in her speech. So, she is quitting because her heart simply wasn't in it and because of that, she would do a shitty job for the remainder of the term? She had too many distractions and couldn't tough it out? Lady, you were ELECTED TO PUBLIC OFFICE. You don't just up and quit because you don't want to do it anymore. You don't have the luxury of changing jobs, changing direction, mid-term, that is the price of being in the public eye. What rational human being would ever think about electing you to any future public office when you can leave when you feel like it? How much harder is it going to be for a woman to be elected to public office, or appointed to any leadership role?

I am filled with all sorts of vitriol over the implications of this. It's hard enough to be a successful woman in this world, but when a very public figure who projects the epitome of righteousness just ups and leaves for a "higher calling," it says to me that she (and women in the world by proxy) can't cut it. They can't handle the responsibilities and pressure. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.



There have been many conjectures about why Sarah Palin might have resigned, but the one that offends me most is that the media scrutiny was just too much for her and her family to handle. This point I would like to address, because I'd like to compare her to my lady Hillary Clinton.

Sarah Palin has been under intense media scrutiny since last August, and flaunted her family as examples of pro-life bizarro conservative family values. Hey, she knew she was having a baby with Downs Syndrome and didn't abort it!! And look, her teenage daughter and her lunatic (ex-)boyfriend were irresponsible about sex and got pregnant and they did not have an abortion! Praise Jeebus!

I'm sorry, but after parading your family around the public all last fall, they are FAIR. GAME. You wanted to give them privacy? You should have done that from the beginning. Frankly, the way she flaunted her family at the Republican National Convention was sickening and in poor taste.

Now, let's talk about Hillary shall we? Now THAT lady knows media scrutiny. Remember all the jokes poked about her appearance? All that hoopla about her suits and her haircuts? Remember the mess about health care? Remember how her husband got a blow job from an intern and was impeached for it? And remember all the jokes poked at poor Chelsea Clinton, whose only fault was that she was the unfortunate recipient of an ugly adolescence? And by the way, remember that Hillary has been enduring this since 1992?

So if the reason for Sarah Palin's resignation is media scrutiny, then all I have to say to her is SUCK IT.

Now I have been guilty of chastising beauty pageant contestants, but I can't fault them for being boneheads. Their lives revolve around being pretty and parading around swimsuits. But Sarah Palin is a public figure. She sponsors bills. She runs an entire state. She's contemplating another round for office in 2012. Does that not fucking scare you?


Dear Sarah Palin,

Stop setting our gender back. You are not helping matters.

Love,
Another One Bites the Dust