Lessons About Marriage From Happy Couples, Part 4

This particular lesson is often a very sore subject with most brides I know, and I hesitate a little bit to even bring it up, but I do think that even if people don't agree with it, they should still at least talk about it.

Part 4 - Be Practical, Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst (and Get a Prenup)

My college roommate got married several years ago, and one of the most important orders of business before they got married was the prenuptual agreement. The idea was completely hers. When I asked her why, she said that since he was a bit older than her and obviously had assets she didn't have, that she wanted to have this agreement so that if in the unfortunate case they split, that there was an agreement, and she couldn't let her anger be a factor in the division of the assets. I asked her if she thought this unromantic, and she said, yes, it is unromantic, but in marriage, and in life, she likes to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Everytime I see this topic there's always so much sensitivity around it, and rightfully so, I suppose. Weddings are about hope for the future, and prenups are just so... business-y. As for me, I've never been one for grand gestures of romance. I actually think it's really romantic that someone would say, "I love you so much that I'm making this agreement with you, unchanging, so that if we fall on hard times that my anger and resentment won't threaten assets you rightfully should have."

Sometime in the last few months, someone told me that if I was planning to be married forever, I wouldn't have a prenup. To which I told her, BECAUSE I'm planning to be married forever, I don't CARE that I'll have a prenup.

And, it's not like our prenup is a going to be this significant piece of legal documentation. We don't have many assets, but since we have different saving patterns our assets are unequal. My engagement ring and wedding band are both Dude family heirlooms and MUST be returned no matter what. We also received a piece of artwork from Dude's step grandmother that really should stay in the Dude family as well. And, most importantly, Dude should be covered since he will leave the workforce and will eventually stay at home with the kids.

I'm a practical girl, and "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" is totally up my alley.

By the way, my friend is totally still happily married.