MJ

I am not one to be greatly affected by celebrity deaths. It's sad when a public persona dies, but I don't know them personally and so my reaction is usually to shrug and move on.

But last night, as I heard the news of Michael Jackson's death, I found myself strangely full of conflicting emotions.

Michael Jackson is the reason I started dancing and singing. My parents were very strict when I was growing up, and so my brother and I spent many hours by ourselves, and many of those hours were spent listening to and watching Michael Jackson. We had nightmares over Thriller. We used to sing and dance to Bad and Smooth Criminal in our basement.

In fact, I think one of my very first gender equality arguments was about MJ.

Me: I want to be Michael Jackson!
My brother: You can't be Michael Jackson, you're a girl!
Me: Girls can do that too!

I don't know what evils he may have done when he was alive. Maybe he was a pedophile, I don't know, and if he was then I hope he's paying for it now. But I can't brush aside the fact that so much of my personality was influenced by Michael Jackson.

In tribute, last night I sang myself hoarse to his songs, and danced around the living room while Dude played video games.