There is a flurry of emotions that are taking over me as the election draws near. At times like this, one can't help but think of The Future.
I am fully confident that the love and respect that Dude and I have for each other will get us through anything in our life together, but there is one aspect towards which I feel apprehension, and that is the fact that our children will be biracial.
I realize that we are not the first couple to ever be in this position, and that my apprehension is not unique to us. I tell myself that each generation gets better in terms of how it deals with race. I tell myself that my experiences have been far more positive than my parents' and that my children's experiences will be better than mine.
What really scares me is that "biracial" is something that neither I nor Dude can relate to. Dude is your typical privileged white male and I am a typical female of color, so our experiences span the entire range. Adding to that, we are from two different cultures. I'm a naturalized American and there's very much of my Filipino heritage in my life.
But all we know is one or the other. Neither of us knows what it is like to walk down the street and not look like either of your parents. Will they favor one culture over another? Will they poke fun at my parents for having a Filipino accent and for having trouble with common English phrases (believe me, English is really hard to learn as a second language)? Which checkboxes will they choose when filling out the demographic forms? Will they resent being in the middle?
One of the hardest parts of being a person of color is the simultaneous feeling of being oppressed and repressed. Oppressed because of the color of our skin; repressed because in 2008 America, racism is no longer supposed to exist. What's really fucked up is that speaking out about and against your oppression makes YOU the racist, where's the sense in that? I've been in cities that are 95% white and yet claim to have diversity, as if to say, look at all these lovely colored folk in our town, I'm not friends with them but they sure are interesting. It is a neverending struggle to educate ignorance, and at times I just want to give up and just be angry and racist right back.
But then I know that doing that will not benefit me, and most certainly will not benefit my children. And the only really logical thing to do is to keep trying.
New Year, New Blog!
16 years ago
5 comments:
i was recently talking to Boy about the same thing-- what it will be like to raise a biracial child in America, when neither of us have that experience. I'm worried, frankly...
as a biracial person, i think it's a great start that you are thinking of this at all. this book is pretty good: http://www.amazon.com/Does-Anybody-Else-Look-Like/dp/0738209503/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
@sweet - it's the one thing that really and truly scares me about my life with Dude. everything else, i feel like i can handle.
@n - thanks for that link! i just read the excerpt and i'm going to buy it, even if i'm not married yet.
I think they will say, "What a beautiful child". Then hopefully they will say, "What a wonderfully smart/educated child, well-mannered child, respectful child, curious child, caring child, empathetic child, etc."
@anonymous - respectfully, i think that's a nice thought, and it would be wonderful if that were the case, but ultimately, frightfully naive. my friends with biracial children now, in 2008 new york city, already encounter race-related difficulties with their children. my future children are only a few years away, and i seriously doubt the world will become enlightened between then and now.
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