I really, really, really hate the bouquet toss. I hate it so much that it makes me angry just thinking about it.
I know a lot of my friends say that it's one of the big privileges of being a bride is to throw the bouquet, and that it's just a fun thing to do and people like me shouldn't read too much into it. And, if you're one of those people who don't mind it or actually enjoy it, then I'm happy for you and I'll get in that group because you asked me to and it's your daaaay... but I won't fake enthusiasm and I wouldn't catch your bouquet even if you threw it at my face.
The thing is, it's not the symbolism of the bouquet toss that I hate. I couldn't give a crap about the symbolism and the "next to marry" thing, who thinks such things anyway?
What I really hate is the exclusion of all single females in the group. As a female who for the time being still falls into the group of women who get called out in weddings for this stupid tradition, I hate being specifically called out, to fake this desperation. It's like, let's remind you all that your one purpose in life is to get married so why don't you get in a group so we can single you out and make one of you really uncomfortable! And then heaven forbid you refuse to get up to do this, then you are a BAD GUEST.
I would go so far as to say the one thing that makes me really excited about getting married is never having to be made to catch the bouquet ever again. Hallelujah!
So... there won't be any bouquet toss at my wedding, and I'm not apologizing for that.
New Year, New Blog!
16 years ago
5 comments:
two rules for us: no bouquet toss, no garter toss. oh, and no cake smashing. all three are trashy, misogynistic, and just plain gross. we will be doing something participatory but it's not like that!
we're not doing garter toss either. undecided on the cake smashing. i know that might be hypocritical of me but really, the symbolism of this stuff is not what upsets me. what upsets me is just the act of forcing guests to do uncomfortable things. the cake smashing only goes as far as bride and groom so we haven't decided yet.
I have a friend that I think wants to catch the bouquet, but I don't like it / really want to do it either. Plus, I kinda' want to keep my bouquet! I have a feeling that I'll be forced into the toss, though.
One thing that I DON'T WANT, though, is the garter thing, which just GROSSES ME OUT. It's so creepy to do that to people! I have huge tanks of fish and a kick-ass DJ, I don't think I need to humiliate our guests to entertain them.
oh gosh i agree - there are so many antiquated traditions that need to GO AWAY and this is one of them!
@kate - your wedding is going to be AWESOME!!
@ami - thanks for the vote of solidarity!
Post a Comment