Intercultural Differences and the Registry

Full disclosure in case you didn't know: I am Filipina and Dude is Southern.

Obviously there are differences because Dude has never left the continent and I was born and spent my childhood in the Philippines. But for the most part it has worked out for us, and we've found that in our everyday lives, there are more similarities than not. People are still people, after all.

My friend MonkeyGirl did an excellent post on Filipino wedding traditions here, some of which we'll also incorporate, but she does a far better job of describing them than I ever will so I'll let her post speak for itself.

What I do want to talk about today, is the registry.



Dude and I finished our first round of registering this weekend (I say first round because we may add to it if people use it for showers and things) and for the most part we are happy with it.

Here's the big difference - Filipinos don't register.

Now my memories of the Philippines are that of a little girl, so I don't actually know if that is the custom or etiquette, all I know is what I remember. I've been a flower girl in 10 weddings (17 aunts and uncles - without spouses) and nobody registered.

Basically gifts are just given, and most gifts are just cash. Most recently my cousins who are my age have started to get married and in their invitations they include wording that says "in lieu of gifts, the bride and groom would prefer cash for their future together" blah blah blah.

Yes, Miss Manners, they go right out and ask for money. One Filipino wedding my parents attended in Texas even included the couple's bank account number on the invitation.

I tend to split half and half between Filipino and American when it comes to my ideas on customs and etiquette, but I found this tacky. My parents, however, did not. My mom actually asked me today, "If you don't put it on the invitation, how do people know?"

As we go along this whole process of becoming a family I am sure more details like this will show up. So far it hasn't been a challenge - in fact Dude and I take a lot of delight in working these things out and picking and choosing the best from both cultures. This is a process, and both sides are still learning.

In this case, I'm going to let my mom handle the Filipino half.